I'm lazy...

... so I haven't been writing anything for a while. And I'm still too lazy sorry -___-' I'll try to add some photos + stories of Hanami, Desucon and Red Ribbon vocaloid meeting V when I have time...

Three weeks left....

My Riku costume is 90 % done
Kaito 90 % done too (it's missing the shoes but I'm not going to make them to Desucon.... So this costume is kinda ready)
Kain 12 % done

My desucon costumes + matryoshka Kaito

My costumes for the next Desucon are:

Riku KH 3D

Kaito

 And if I can finish this on time:

Kain Highwind Dissidia 012

 

And I should make Matryoshka Kaito for a meeting hold in Summer (and I don't know if it's before or after Desucon...) . And how much I have done those costumes so far:
Riku: 80%
Kaito: 85%
Kain: 5%
Matryoshka Kaito: 5%

I have 7 weeks to get those ready D8 Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttasfdghj. Okay, I'm sure that I can finnish Riku and both Kaitos on time but Kain... asdfasdf.......

About last meeting

Not much to report. There was only me, Miku, Tiikeri and Sardiini. We filmed the minidrama sample episode and took few photos. Oh and ate ice-cream and played dancing game. And watched a pokémon movie.

Derp

I baked some cupcakes. And ate dough.

And I feel sick. Not because of eating the dough. My head hurts...

And the thing I wanted to wrtite about:
I have a little complex about my face and body.  I just can't see myself as a pretty girl. I would make a pretty guy but not a pretty girl. I'm flat and when I'm wearing dresses I just look like a crossdressing guy. Okay and I never have been acting like a girl... If I had to been born as a girl then why couldn't I at least look like one and have big boobs? Sometimes I think I should try to dress up and act girlier but then again, when I'm doing that, I feel like I'm forcing myself to act like somebody I'm not. I wish I could learn to love myself as the way I am and not wanting to change.  I was born with this body and gender. I can't change neither of them. I used to wish that I were a guy but now I wish I could have been a proper girl. Right now, I feel like I don't have a gender at all. I can never become a guy yet I don't actually want to be a girl. But still I feel like that I can't go on forever playing a guy.  Because I know I'm not. Sorry for being an emo kid. Maybe if I had a boyfriend I would start to feel more like a girl. Or gay. But I kinda like girls a little bit more than guys.. Asd maybe I should go to sleep, I still feel sick -___-'  .

...
...
... Da fuck I just wrote...?

Twenty years already....

....  I don't want to grow up ;^;

I think I would be able to make people think that I'm actually a boy...

 

...but I'm not.